I get to play in the dirt.....YAY!!!

What a fabulous morning!!  It is sunny and we are going to see the mid 60's today.  This will be perfect yard work weather.  I headed to the nursery after leaving the office yesterday and bought a bunch of flowers to plant in my pots on the back deck.  I have always loved the first planting event of the season.  For me it is always different.  Some years it is a hanging pot, others it is a vegetable bed and this year it is flowers in pots.  I am not sure I will ever by the type of person that does the same or very similar type of garden year after year, but if I do someday it will be in a yard that is better suited for it.  For now I will plant my planters and be quite happy with that.


Tomorrow is Easter but for me I think it will just be like any other day.  I am not sure what my deal is with holidays but somewhere along the way I lost my interest in them.  I am hoping that changes when I start getting more comfortable in my own skin again.  In fact I was thinking about that when I was driving through downtown last night after going to the nursery.  An event called Arts Walk was taking place and there were people milling all over.  The sun was shining and it seemed like the perfect conditions for the event.  I actually saw an area that seemed to have hand crafted jewelry and I was intrigued...and yet, I could not let myself stop.  There is something inside me that has been there for quite a long time now that holds me back.  It is as if I do not feel worthy or I am so worried about standing out and not fitting in that I completely avoid.  It has gotten so bad that I deal with the same thing with family.  It is nothing they say or do that makes me feel this way, it is completely coming from me.  It has gotten to the point that I avoid as many family interactions as I can, including all holidays.  I really hope that as some of the weight comes off I can start addressing some of these things about myself.  I don't know what the cause is...but I am certainly going to try and do my part to change things.


Well...didn't this take a deeper train of thought then I expected!  LOL  I think we will just leave it at that and I am going to go play in the dirt.  :-)

Good Friday and Earth Day all wrapped up into one...

My first inclination this morning was to jump on and a do a little grumble grumble post and be done with it for today.  Now that I have a cup of coffee and have done my usual morning routine online I think today deserves better then that.

I have felt very moody the past month and I have no doubt that the changes going on inside me, and surgery and such, have contributed to it.  I need to fight the good fight though and I really have to work to keep my spirits positive and upbeat and happy.  That is really the kind of person I want to become more and more as the weight drops...so I need to get to it now!  Funny thing is once I put forth just a bit of effort to do so...it takes over naturally and runs wild.  I do love that.

Every morning I sit at my Mac at home (it's not just a computer.....it's a Mac Baby!!!) and look outside the window at the birds enjoying the feeder I have hung from the tree in my front yard.  It never gets mundane to watch and the miracle that takes place every year never ceases to amaze me.  The tree is just now opening its tiny little buds to reveal the edges of what will wind up being the most amazing and big maple leaves.  These aren't your typical version of leaves either, they are variegated white and green leaves, and the year I bought this house and saw them open in the spring I was happily amazed!  The tulips are budded and are also getting ready to open in the area they occupy down by the front sidewalk.  They will be red though I have 1 yellow one that happens to be under the maple tree near a batch of daffodils that are now on the way out.  I think the tulip prefers to hang with others that are similar and so it says the heck with type of flower....just call me mellow yellow.

Looking out my window today, with it being Earth Day....oh, I must interrupt myself to mention that Mr. Squirley has just showed up for the day.  He happens to share the feeder with the birds.  He is rather respectful though and focuses on the food on the ground instead of attempting to attack the feeder itself and cause havoc.  I think he has looked into my eyes through the window glass and realizes doing so would not work out for him.  LOL  Where was I?  Oh yeah, it being Earth Day and all I cannot help but take a moment to really cherish some of the things that bring me great joy....but I guess just sharing what little I did about my tree and flowers and birds and Mr. Squirley has nicely accomplished that, and allowed me to share it with you too.

On that note....this really is going to be a Good Friday and I wish blessings and a little something special for everyone today.  Do make sure and go outside for a bit and if you can manage it....do a little something special to recognize Earth Day....she deserves it from us a whole lot!!!!

1 day at a time...

It is a beautiful sunny morning, though cold enough to put ice on the rooftops on April 21st!  Sheesh!!

Yesterday was a good day food wise until early evening when I unexpectedly had to go to the grocery store.  That is the kiss of death for me I tell ya!  As long as I do a bit of planning, or even stop at the store on my way home from work, I am fine.  I still have my resolve of a good food day all the way past dinner, but if I wind up at the store after that all bets are off!  So as I already know it is all about a bit of menu planning, shopping ahead of time and doing my very best to not have to run to the store for ANY REASON after dinner!!

My latest healthy indulgence...crab cakes.  I stopped by our local seafood shop last week and that is it, I am hooked (get it...hooked...ha!).  So my usual now is to get a few pieces of halibut and at least 2 if not 3 crab cakes.  Yesterday I splurged and got a crab cocktail.  Oh my!!  Definitely need to keep that as a once in awhile treat though.  So the crab cakes are absolutely full of meat and have barely any filler.  I fry one up in a little olive oil til brown and crispy, have a little veggie on the side and that for me is the perfect dinner.

Today I am shooting for a better food day all the way to bedtime.  It should just be me and JC & Jack (my spoiled rotten kitty cats) tonight...Ben & Jerry are NOT invited anymore!!!

I am off to have a fabulous Thursday...See Ya!!

And so it begins...

I cannot help but wonder if this blog will actually evolve or simply wither on the vine.   I have never thought of myself as the blogging type, even though I feel I have so much going on inside me that needs an outlet.  Due to a fairly recent major life change I have decided I need to see if this is a viable concept for me to have a place to come and let it all hang out, so to speak.  I hope it is.  I guess it all comes down to my signature saying...If It Is To Be It Is Up To Me!

I love the thought of coming back to this message some day and thinking....wow, you've come a long way baby!!!  Not sure where the journey of life will take me next, but I just want to be open to going there.

Oh, I guess I should mention the major change I have alluded to...on March 16, 2011 I went under the knife and had lap-band WLS (weight loss surgery).  The best is yet to come and I have only just begun to wander as I ponder...