Life is good...

There is so much to be grateful for, and I am.

I have flirted with living debt free for about 4 years now.  I even got pretty darn close once, but it is a total commitment and a slippery slope once you falter.  I am now doing it and this time it is very much for real.  My debt free date is 12/12/12.  Although I will not be putting detailed numbers here I can tell you that this is definitely going to require sacrifice on my part.  I am willing to do what I have to do for now and live like no one else, so that later I can live like no one else.  :-)

My 2013 goal will be a fully funded emergence fund (FFEF) and that will be another 12 month proposition.  I am a believer in Dave Ramsey and his Total Money Makeover and that is the program I am using. 

Life is good....and I am grateful.

Been a long time since I rocked and rolled...lol

Haven't been here in ages but decided this would be a good place to log some garden activity.

Today I planted garlic (spanish roja) and shallots (French red).  Cleaned out the beds and whiskey barrel and now I dream of spring.  Lots of planning to do before then....this next years garden will be my first that is this large and with this much variety......and  it is going to rock!!!  :-)

Ramblings....when I want cuz I can

I think I am always so worried about my blog being some cohesive thread of thoughts and posts that I only seem to add to it very sporadically.  Not sure if that will change or not based on this declaration...but I am going to just post what I want, ramble from time to time and makes this somewhat of a personal space that happens to be public.

I have been in a funk lately but I am really trying to fight it.  There is not one major think I can point to to blame nor is there one major thing that is my symptom of how I know.  I am just fighting the blues more and truth be told I think I am just really tired from working full time for the past 21 years with all financial responsibility resting solely on my shoulders.  That is how it is being a single parent and I know I am blessed that I have been able to go in an incline of a career path with increased salary and lifestyle.  But...that does not mean I am not still tired and would not love being able to take a bit of a step backwards if I had a spouse that could pick up the slack.  Ok...that is just a bit of where my head is at I guess.

I have been doing some cooking lately which has been nice.  I made a fabulous chicken curry crockpot dish, a good mexican crockpot dish and last night I cooked with a leek for the first time.  Yum!  Saturday morning I went down to the farmers market, for the first time this year believe it or not, and I wound up with some garlic, shallots, leeks, fingerling potatoes and a beautiful bouquet of flowers.  Some of the garlic is for eating and some is for planting in the garden. 

Last night I steamed the potatoes and cooked the leeks in butter and olive oil.  I also cooked and crumbled some bacon.  I tossed all the ingredients together and let them fry up a bit and it was just lovely.  I am definitely going to plant fingerling potatoes this spring.

I am home sick today and won't go into details.  I can be up and about a bit and am going to work on getting out a few fall decorations.  I am ready for the summer heat to be gone and survey says it will be leaving this week.   

The promise of glorious things to come!!

I cannot expect anyone to understand the joy I feel inside right now with the progress of my garden.  It just makes my soul sing!  I am planning to do a small fall/winter planting this weekend with some lettuce, spinach and carrots.  I have 2 squash plants that are doing very well.  The zucchini plant has at least 4 tiny little barbie size starts on them and the yellow crookneck has 2.  I have just picked my first 3 cherry size tomatoes and am looking forward to having them for dinner tonight.

This past weekend involved filling my 4 raised beds with 2 yards of mushroom soil and spreading 4 yards of dark bark in my front yard.  I have my son Shane and his friend Ian (sp?) to thank for that.  They worked really hard and I am very grateful for their assistance.

I have started saving little containers for seed starting of next years garden and I can hardly wait!!  I bought a great book on canning and preserving and look forward to making some killer relishes and sauces and such.  This is not your grandma's green beans that I am going for here....not that there is anything wrong with that!!  I do not have a house full of people to feed so for me this is more about the gardening itself and getting to explore flavors and smaller batches of unique things.

Here is a picture of the garden beds now full and ready to plant....along with a picture of my 3 little tomatoes that make me smile!!

Slow but sure....

Working on the garden still.....it all takes so much time when you are doing it mostly alone and move as slow as I do these days!

Hoping to have them level and order garden soil next week.  :-)  I have to get on this, I have rhubarb coming soon.  I also have tiny tiny little crookneck and zucchini squashes on the plants seen on the back wall.  Woohoo!

chicken coop...scratch that! (pun intended)

Ok...I have been studying all things chicken coops and urban chicken keeping and I have decided it is not for me.  I have also decided I am not going to be one of those types that blogs daily...it is what it is.

I have moved on to putting in my garden, which I have been thinking about for 2 years now.  It was just time to put my big girl panties on and deal with it.  I am doing a potager garden which is a fancy name for a french kitchen garden.  In order to qualify as a potager it must have vegetables, herbs and flowers and the most traditional styles have 4 boxes or beds with a center area of the garden for a centerpiece or sitting area. 

I have just barely started but thought I would show a picture.  I have 2 of my 4 boxes built, which are 4' x 4' and 12" high.  I am undecided on what I will be doing in the center but I will know it when I know it.

I have missed gardening...I am so looking forward to it!

A coop is the scoop!

My latest obsession...I am getting a chicken coop and 4 - 5 egg laying ladies.  I am so excited!!!  I am working with a local guy who is going to help me build it (my coffee lady hooked me up with him).  I know where I want it in the yard but I am still working out the style of coop that I want.  I love the idea of the freshness and being somewhat self reliant.  I am also going to be working on my raised garden best very soon.  These will not be in growing production until next year but by then they will be completely good to go and fertilized and will be a growing machine.

I want to have a better grip on what I am consuming.  I will never be all fanatical about it but every little bit helps.

I had my third fill today.  I am now at 5.8 cc in a 14 cc band.  This is the first fill where I think I might be feeling just a bit of restriction.  Oh how I hope so!!

Ok...I am off to look at pictures of coops.  I love it!  :-)

Happy Mother's Day!

As I was sitting here having my first cup of coffee before starting the day, I had a lovely little yellow visitor.  You can see him on the left hand side of the feeder, though this pic does not do him justice.  He was very bright yellow and very cheerful looking.  My camera was close at hand so I decided to take a picture.  It made me smile.

My heart is heavy today though because I am definitely still sick and will not be seeing my Mom.  I have a deep chest cough with phlegm and in her condition I think that could be deadly for her.  All I can do is take comfort in knowing that I have other siblings that she will see today and that I will be seeing her very soon.

Today my plan will be to work out in the garage with my son's help.  I am going through boxes and organizing for a community garage sale in my neighborhood on June 4th.  We were out there for several hours yesterday too and it was a good bonding experience for us.  We were finding all kinds of things from his childhood and it was nice to share in his joy as he had been thinking things were gone, when mom had simply put them away for safe keeping.  :-)

I am hoping for a good day again with him.  I really need that right now and I know he does too.

Another really bright spot to my week was the re-surfacing of a dear friend from my school days.  I had not seen her since my Dad's death in 2004 and she finally tracked me down.  We talked and caught up on much of what has transpired in the past several years and it is still so comfortable to chat with her.  She has always held a very special place in my heart and I love her very much.  I was the one who went MIA and I am blessed that she reached out to me again.  I will work harder to be a better friend but I doubt I will ever be as good as her!

Mother's Day...

I have had some bad ones...I had one with a little boy with the worst chicken pox you have ever seen...I have had some non-existent ones...I think it is safe to say this one will top them all, and be my worst one yet.

I have a cold.  I am trying to get rid of it as fast as I can because this Sunday will be my Mom's last Mother's Day.  I really really need to see her on Sunday and I am not sure I will be able to.

Blink...and a week is gone!!!

I just fixed a cup of coffee, having just gotten out of the shower, and I knew I had to spend a bit of time here this morning no matter what. 

The day after Easter life got a bit crazy.  I was summoned for jury duty but was not that worried about being selected.  When I arrived and was given the number 13 I was even more confident that this would be a quick in and out half day for me.  Nope.  3 days later, having found a man guilty which will in fact send him to prison, I had completed my civic duty.  I am glad I did it but for future reference...if you get in trouble and have a choice between the judge deciding or it being a jury of your peers, think long and hard about just having the judge decide.  I know that is what I would do!!!!!

The week also started out with some information on my Mom.  It is no big surprise that she is not long for this world, but it is still upsetting to hear it or see in in writing.  Having received an update from my brother it has been decided that those that need to come see her should do so soon.  I have a sister coming in a couple weeks from now and 2 brothers visiting the week after.  It will be nice to see them though I wish it were for happier reasons.  I suspect that the gathering that will have all 7 of us together at the same time will most likely be for a certain someone's 50th b-day.  Wow...I remember when the oldest was about to turn 50 and now it will be the 2nd to last who does, in only a little over 2 years.  And then it will be me...ok, gotta change the direction of thought here!!!!!!

I did get a surprise call from my Mom on Sunday the 1st.  My birthday was yesterday and I think she wanted to be the first to tell me happy birthday and wanted to tell me she did not send a card.  I told her I would rather hear her voice on the phone then get a card.  We had not really spoken and I have not seen her since last year.  It is complicated.  I will see her next Sunday for Mother's Day and I am really glad she called me.

That is pretty much the sum of the last week.  I was working in the yard all day Sunday and an now sporting a rather impressive back of the neck sunburn.   My yard is looking nice in most areas and I even spoiled myself and bought a cute little bistro table and 2 chairs for my back deck.

I had my 2nd fill yesterday and so far I am not impressed.  If I do not feel restriction after the next fill on 5/16 I am going to make the next appt. with the other girl in the office that does them.  It might be time to shake things up a bit. 

I get to play in the dirt.....YAY!!!

What a fabulous morning!!  It is sunny and we are going to see the mid 60's today.  This will be perfect yard work weather.  I headed to the nursery after leaving the office yesterday and bought a bunch of flowers to plant in my pots on the back deck.  I have always loved the first planting event of the season.  For me it is always different.  Some years it is a hanging pot, others it is a vegetable bed and this year it is flowers in pots.  I am not sure I will ever by the type of person that does the same or very similar type of garden year after year, but if I do someday it will be in a yard that is better suited for it.  For now I will plant my planters and be quite happy with that.


Tomorrow is Easter but for me I think it will just be like any other day.  I am not sure what my deal is with holidays but somewhere along the way I lost my interest in them.  I am hoping that changes when I start getting more comfortable in my own skin again.  In fact I was thinking about that when I was driving through downtown last night after going to the nursery.  An event called Arts Walk was taking place and there were people milling all over.  The sun was shining and it seemed like the perfect conditions for the event.  I actually saw an area that seemed to have hand crafted jewelry and I was intrigued...and yet, I could not let myself stop.  There is something inside me that has been there for quite a long time now that holds me back.  It is as if I do not feel worthy or I am so worried about standing out and not fitting in that I completely avoid.  It has gotten so bad that I deal with the same thing with family.  It is nothing they say or do that makes me feel this way, it is completely coming from me.  It has gotten to the point that I avoid as many family interactions as I can, including all holidays.  I really hope that as some of the weight comes off I can start addressing some of these things about myself.  I don't know what the cause is...but I am certainly going to try and do my part to change things.


Well...didn't this take a deeper train of thought then I expected!  LOL  I think we will just leave it at that and I am going to go play in the dirt.  :-)

Good Friday and Earth Day all wrapped up into one...

My first inclination this morning was to jump on and a do a little grumble grumble post and be done with it for today.  Now that I have a cup of coffee and have done my usual morning routine online I think today deserves better then that.

I have felt very moody the past month and I have no doubt that the changes going on inside me, and surgery and such, have contributed to it.  I need to fight the good fight though and I really have to work to keep my spirits positive and upbeat and happy.  That is really the kind of person I want to become more and more as the weight drops...so I need to get to it now!  Funny thing is once I put forth just a bit of effort to do so...it takes over naturally and runs wild.  I do love that.

Every morning I sit at my Mac at home (it's not just a computer.....it's a Mac Baby!!!) and look outside the window at the birds enjoying the feeder I have hung from the tree in my front yard.  It never gets mundane to watch and the miracle that takes place every year never ceases to amaze me.  The tree is just now opening its tiny little buds to reveal the edges of what will wind up being the most amazing and big maple leaves.  These aren't your typical version of leaves either, they are variegated white and green leaves, and the year I bought this house and saw them open in the spring I was happily amazed!  The tulips are budded and are also getting ready to open in the area they occupy down by the front sidewalk.  They will be red though I have 1 yellow one that happens to be under the maple tree near a batch of daffodils that are now on the way out.  I think the tulip prefers to hang with others that are similar and so it says the heck with type of flower....just call me mellow yellow.

Looking out my window today, with it being Earth Day....oh, I must interrupt myself to mention that Mr. Squirley has just showed up for the day.  He happens to share the feeder with the birds.  He is rather respectful though and focuses on the food on the ground instead of attempting to attack the feeder itself and cause havoc.  I think he has looked into my eyes through the window glass and realizes doing so would not work out for him.  LOL  Where was I?  Oh yeah, it being Earth Day and all I cannot help but take a moment to really cherish some of the things that bring me great joy....but I guess just sharing what little I did about my tree and flowers and birds and Mr. Squirley has nicely accomplished that, and allowed me to share it with you too.

On that note....this really is going to be a Good Friday and I wish blessings and a little something special for everyone today.  Do make sure and go outside for a bit and if you can manage it....do a little something special to recognize Earth Day....she deserves it from us a whole lot!!!!

1 day at a time...

It is a beautiful sunny morning, though cold enough to put ice on the rooftops on April 21st!  Sheesh!!

Yesterday was a good day food wise until early evening when I unexpectedly had to go to the grocery store.  That is the kiss of death for me I tell ya!  As long as I do a bit of planning, or even stop at the store on my way home from work, I am fine.  I still have my resolve of a good food day all the way past dinner, but if I wind up at the store after that all bets are off!  So as I already know it is all about a bit of menu planning, shopping ahead of time and doing my very best to not have to run to the store for ANY REASON after dinner!!

My latest healthy indulgence...crab cakes.  I stopped by our local seafood shop last week and that is it, I am hooked (get it...hooked...ha!).  So my usual now is to get a few pieces of halibut and at least 2 if not 3 crab cakes.  Yesterday I splurged and got a crab cocktail.  Oh my!!  Definitely need to keep that as a once in awhile treat though.  So the crab cakes are absolutely full of meat and have barely any filler.  I fry one up in a little olive oil til brown and crispy, have a little veggie on the side and that for me is the perfect dinner.

Today I am shooting for a better food day all the way to bedtime.  It should just be me and JC & Jack (my spoiled rotten kitty cats) tonight...Ben & Jerry are NOT invited anymore!!!

I am off to have a fabulous Thursday...See Ya!!

And so it begins...

I cannot help but wonder if this blog will actually evolve or simply wither on the vine.   I have never thought of myself as the blogging type, even though I feel I have so much going on inside me that needs an outlet.  Due to a fairly recent major life change I have decided I need to see if this is a viable concept for me to have a place to come and let it all hang out, so to speak.  I hope it is.  I guess it all comes down to my signature saying...If It Is To Be It Is Up To Me!

I love the thought of coming back to this message some day and thinking....wow, you've come a long way baby!!!  Not sure where the journey of life will take me next, but I just want to be open to going there.

Oh, I guess I should mention the major change I have alluded to...on March 16, 2011 I went under the knife and had lap-band WLS (weight loss surgery).  The best is yet to come and I have only just begun to wander as I ponder...